Who even would have thought I would have to have a rebuttal to yesterday’s post, but here we are. *sigh* Part of me was thinking, don’t dignify it with a response while the other part wants to defend my loved ones.
My sister-in-law is a saint. Truly. She has tried to give my niece and nephew every ounce of normalcy in their childhood that she possibly can since their Dad was diagnosed with a debilitating, terminal disease 3 1/2 years ago. Furthermore, she has done this while trying to meet all of John’s needs (the imaginable and unimaginable) and also trying to provide him with as much joy as possible in his limited time left. That’s what the trip to Wisconsin Dells was about. If people could just walk in her shoes for one day. Just one day.
Or perhaps they should walk in the shoes of my niece and nephew. It was suggested in one of the comments yesterday that it was partially their (my niece’s and nephew’s) fault that the bipap machine was left because they didn’t show enough responsibility to make sure it was taken off the bus. My niece and nephew have done things at their young ages for their Dad that most adults have never, nor will ever, do for their parents. I’m not exaggerating. Most adult children would ship their parents off to a nursing home before they would be forced to do the things that my niece and nephew have had to do for their Dad. It’s ridiculous and absurd to blame them.
Let me just answer a few questions that were asked in comments:
If you have all these essential items AND have a wheelchair van … why wouldn’t you just make it a road trip?
Emily answered, “Just because they own a handicap accessible vehicle does not make it the most convenient mode of transportation at all times. I assume you own a car, does that mean you would never take a bus or a plane?” The problem with taking the van is that it is not in very good condition. The handicapped accessible van that they were able to afford often has a door that doesn’t work very well making it difficult to get John in and out of the van. It also shakes at speeds greater than 55 miles per hour, making it a frightening vehicle for my sister-in-law to drive. Plus, it just isn’t that reliable. They were also using this shorter trip as a trial run to see if it would be an acceptable mode of travel for a longer trip they want to take to visit family. Obviously, that isn’t going to work.
was [sic] is 4 people doing with 9 pieces of luggage
I think what he/she meant was “what are four people doing with nine pieces of luggage?”
See, John has to be tube fed. He can’t eat like normal people. He has to eat through a tube that goes into his stomach. This means he has to be fed a special food, like formula, that is mixed and poured into something that has to be attached to his feeding tube. So all of that paraphernalia and the special food had to be packed. Plus all of his medication. Plus his equipment that he needs. Plus everyone’s clothes and swimming suits and towels, etc. It’s ridiculous to me even as I’m writing this that I have to explain this to people.
To those who were quick to blame all of the problems on my sister-in-law and her children,
my brother-in-law (her brother), Nathan, can clarify better than I can (this is from his comment yesterday):
A few points of clarification to those commenting that it is all the fault of the travelers:
The shuttle bus was offered as an alternative to the late train, sure, but a big part of the problem from there on out is the total breakdown in communication and accountability because Amtrak says it’s the bus contractor’s problem and the bus contractor says it is Amtrak’s problem.
I’m surprised at the callousness of those who are quick to dismiss this as traveler error. Yes, the travelers made a mistake. They were trying to navigate a chaotic travel situation with a lot of luggage and in the process realized they had missed one bag. That much is clear and no one disputes that. Here’s what everyone needs to keep in mind, though. Immediately upon discovering they had a piece of luggage still on the bus, they worked the phones until they could contact the bus driver directly. They were reassured that it would be taken care of and they could get it back that evening. They did not get it back, because the driver broke standard operating procedure. Upon arriving in Chicago, he was supposed to contact Amtrak to have a station representative meet the shuttle at the curb. When he forgot about the lost piece of luggage he had promised to bring back with him and unloaded it with all the other pieces, an Amtrak representative at the curb would have been able to take the unclaimed bag on the sidewalk to lost and found.
If the driver had done this simple step in this procedure (actually letting Amtrak know he had arrived instead of dropping and dashing), we could instead be writing about the superior customer service of Amtrak recovering a misplaced piece of luggage. Instead, we are writing about hours of phone calls, a lack of answers, missing medical equipment, and now people blaming the victims.
As for the icing on this miserable cake – missing the train at the end – there was a bench for them to sit on in the Wisconsin Dells stop. A bench. Yes, they got to the station, found out the train was running an hour late, and a few of them went to a couple of shops across the street. If the station attendant thought it could be earlier than an hour – even if he had no idea – then he should not have given a new arrival time without a clear caveat. Once they missed the train, they were told “sorry” and locked out of the station, sitting on the sidewalk.
There is something called “common courtesy”. It’s what people do when they open the door for a woman with 2 children tucked under her arm while trying to carry bags in her hands. It’s what people do when they see an older woman or man get on the bus and there aren’t any more seats and so they get up and offer there own. It’s what you do when you help a person with a cane who is trying to get down some stairs. It’s what a bus driver or Amtrak employee should have done when realizing this family had special needs. Treat people with humanity. You would expect the same for one of your loved ones. In my line of work, if we treated people with the disregard that the bus company and Amtrak treated Steph and John and their family, we would be ripped apart in the media. I would be fired if I treated people the way that my family was treated. This is a consumer driven society and if you aren’t willing to go above and beyond to satisfy your customers, you aren’t going to have any before too long.
Maybe I’m being naive thinking that there were people who would understand these concepts. I sure got a wake up call yesterday.
**I’m sorry I didn’t respond to comments yesterday, but if I had responded to one, I would have had to respond to them all and I was just too emotional, exhausted and emotionally exhausted.**
