If yesterday really was Easter, how was yours? While mine didn’t totally suck, it sure didn’t feel like Easter.

While I consider myself spiritual, I don’t usually attend church every week. Still, I cannot remember an Easter week where I didn’t go to at least Easter Sunday mass or services. In the past, I often went to Palm Sunday and Good Friday masses, too. Easter is one of my favorite holidays. This year we didn’t even go to church. It felt really weird. We didn’t go because we don’t really have a church of our own and my MIL and FIL haven’t chosen a new one yet. I didn’t know that they had decided on a church to go to for Easter Sunday because they told Jason and he didn’t think that I would want to go.

Usually, following church, we would have brunch at Jason’s parent’s house and have all the festivities that go with that. This year because there wasn’t really a church that we would all go to together, there wasn’t brunch at Jason’s parent’s. Instead we had dinner at their house which started at 3 and lasted until just after 7. I ate too much, the kids got too much “stuff” and it was really, really hot at their house. That’ll happen if you stick 20 or so people into a house and turn on the oven and bake things. It gets really warm in a hurry. Especially if you have half of the people running around looking where the Easter Bunny left things for them. They get as much stuff from the Easter Bunny as most kids get from Santa Claus. I’m not kidding.

Most years, the Easter Bunny hides all the stuff out in the yard before we arrive for brunch. This year, Easter fell so early in the year, it was too cold outside. Oh, and it had been snowing for 3 days! The meteorologists said last week that it would snow on Thursday night and Friday. They said that we would get a few inches. It started Thursday night and it didn’t stop until Sunday afternoon. We got more than a few inches. You know, I love winter, I’ve said that, but even I am getting sick of this winter. Enough already.

This is the first year that Isabelle hasn’t been here on Easter morning to get her Easter basket. Sam and Emily didn’t want Easter baskets this year. There was no one to wake us up all excited because the Easter Bunny had been here and left them some treats. Instead there was a bag of stuff on the kitchen table for Isabelle and cards for Ashley, Emily and Sam. It was pretty sedate here yesterday morning.

It just didn’t feel like Easter yesterday. It was too early, it was white instead of green, there was no church, no brunch and no excited children waking us up in the morning. I was telling this to Fab and he said that it was really all about Jesus anyway. That’s true. It was just hard to remember that it was the celebration of Jesus’ resurrection without all the usual traditions that we have as a family and with weather that looked more like Christmas instead of Easter.

My friend Hilly rawks!! Last year she started Self Love Day on Valentines day. It doesn’t mean that if you have an SO that you totally have to swear off on Valentines Day, or as Hilly calls it–Pink Day (which is much shorter than Valentines Day and less suggestive than VD) and leave your SO hangin’. It just means that you should need to love yourself first and foremost. You need to find your good qualities.

1.) Post one of them thar banners on your blog and declare February 14th as the day you not only love your one and only, but the day that you love yourself!

2.) Post one nice thing about yourself……then ask others to post one thing that they really like about you.

3.) Enjoy yourself!

*sigh*

I vowed that I would do this. It is really hard for me. When I grew up (maybe when everyone grew up), it was not looked on favorably to like yourself. You were considered “stuck up” or “stuck on yourself”. I learned how to find my faults pretty quickly. I was so NOT any of the things that I used to think of myself. Maybe that’s true now, too. In any case, I am to list one thing that I like about myself.

I think that the quality that I like best in myself is my passion. I am a very passionate person. I don’t mean that in a sexual way, I mean that I am never lukewarm on anything. I feel strongly about just about every issue in my life. I think that makes life harder for me, but I have known people who are just so passive and they don’t seem to have any real passion in their lives. I think that is boring. Let me restate that. I think that is BORING. I am not boring. I think that I bring a lot to the table in the way of emotion when I have a relationship with someone, be it friendship, marital or familial. You will always know how I feel about something. And if you don’t, you weren’t paying attention.

So. What do you like about me? You are supposed to list at least one thing, but I will not shoot you if you come up with more.

Happy VD Pink Day.

Some cute things Isabelle said:

Jason’s sister did a solo in church on Christmas Eve. While she was up there, I turned around and asked Isabelle who that was up there and she said, “Auntie S. She has a beautiful voice just like me!”

Later, when Santa came, her and her cousin A were sitting on Santa’s lap and Isabelle turned to A and excitedly said, “A, this might be the best days of our lives!” It was the sweetest thing.

Even after Santa gave her presents that were for her, she set them down so that she could continue to help hand out the rest.

I had a few presents compared to Isabelle’s huge pile and she volunteered to share hers with me.

She had a magic wand and she was turning us all into animals. When she got to Jason, she told him that he was a frog. He oinked loudly and she said, “Okay, you can be a frog that oinks.”

Jason’s sister offered to get Isabelle a plate of food and Isabelle said that her tummy said that it wasn’t hungry and that she always listened to her tummy. My sister-in-law said it was a good thing to listen to your tummy. Isabelle said, “The problem is that other people don’t always listen to my tummy.” (Now isn’t this the truest thing? We are always making kids eat when they say they aren’t hungry. Maybe if we just offer them healthy choices when they say they are hungry, there wouldn’t be this obesity problem in America. I mean how many times did you hear “Eat your vegetables, there are starving kids…”? Right?)

For your viewing pleasure:

I was tagged by Tug. It’s a special tag and I am happy to participate.

OK Here are the rules:

1) Post a note about a blogger you would like to see something wonderful happen for. Maybe one whose posts have touched your heart in one way or another. Include details as to why you admire them and what you wish for them. Be as supporting and affirming as you can.

I want something wonderful for Miss Britt. I am still getting to know her, but there are times that she writes things that I feel in my heart. I have been as low as she has been and sometimes I still find myself there. It is those extreme moments of darkness that I want to reach out to her and give her a glimmer of hope. I know that during those moments of darkness it is hard to even see past the next minute. I want to give her joy and happiness and peace and, maybe even, a little snow. God bless you Britt. I hope the next year brings peace of mind and heart to you.

2) Post your favorite memory around selflessness, giving, or doing for others. Something that has actually changed you.

This is my favorite story to tell. Thank you, Tug, for the opportunity.
In 1989 at Christmas time, I was a single Mom of a 3 year old girl, Ashley, who came down with the chickenpox. I had no money for medicine or soothing treatments, no money for food to feed her while we were at home for the duration of the illness (she normally got fed at daycare, my parents or Jason’s parents–we were married when she was 4 1/2–while I was at work but I couldn’t take her to any of those places while she had the chickenpox) and it was Christmas time, too, so I had no money for any of that, either. One night, we were going to change the message on our answering machine for the holiday. I asked Ashley to sing We Wish You a Merry Christmas for part of the greeting because I knew that they had been working on it in preschool for their program. Initially, she wasn’t going to be able to participate in the Christmas program because of the chickenpox and at the time we were making the message, that’s what we thought, but later we found out that the whole preschool class got the chickenpox so they ended up postponing it until after Christmas. Anyway, I was feeling pretty down. I was going over and over in my mind how unfair all of this was and that her bio-father never had to get up in the middle of the night to comfort her or watch as she was uncomfortable and itchy or wonder where her next meal was going to come from or worry that he wouldn’t be able to get her anything for Christmas. All that was in the back of my mind as Ashley sang the song for the answering machine. At the end, she said, “Merry Christmas, Mom & Dad, we love you!” She instantly knew that she had spoiled the surprise that would have come at the end of the program. It didn’t matter to me. It happened at exactly the right time for me. I burst into tears. I just swallowed her up in the biggest hug. Moments later, the doorbell rang. I went to answer the door and there was one of my coworkers, Carol, with several bags of groceries. It was as moving as Ashley’s song. I swallowed her up in a hug and told her what had just happened and we both cried. I will never forget Carol’s generosity at what was a very difficult time for me. It changed me because I quit feeling sorry for myself and realized that those that I loved all around me weren’t going to let me or Ashley starve and that everything always would work out. It has become my mantra, “everything will always work out”. It isn’t always easy to remember, but it’s there when I remember to use it.

I know, it sounds sappy, but it is honestly a true story.

3) As a postscript, name one thing you will actually do for someone in your life before December 31 that is born out of joy.

Just taking care of Isabelle for Ashley. I thoroughly enjoy having Isabelle, even though she wears me out. (I am not as young as I was when her mommy was that age.) More than just enjoying having Isabelle though, I am just glad to help Ashley out. She really does work her ass off to support herself and her daughter. She does so without any governmental assistance and with inconsistent financial support from Isabelle’s father. I appreciate how hard it is to raise a child under these circumstances.

4) Tag 3 other bloggers who will play the game and find the spirit. Don’t forget to leave a comment on their blog so they continue to share the good feelings.

I know you guys will do this justice. You are all awesome.

Finn
Metalmom
Lynda

I know you all know at least one blogger that you would give anything to ease their struggles if you could. I know you probably all have memories or stories that have made you who you are. Finally, I know that you will all be giving lots of joy to those around you in the coming weeks. Please take it as an honor that I chose you to pass this on.

Merry Christmas to you all.

Dear Santa,

I have been a good girl this year. For the most part, anyway. Have I told you how handsome you look in that red suit lately? The white beard just puts the finishing touch on the whole thing. Did I mention that I was a good girl this year? I did? Okay, well here’s my requests for Christmas.

This year, I would like for my kids and grandchild to remain healthy. I want them to be happy, but I would like them to have just enough challenges to strengthen their character, but not so much that it makes their life unhappy or difficult. It’s hard as a mommy to watch them struggle when there is nothing you can do about it.

I would also like for our parents to have improved health over the next year, especially my Mom’s and my FIL’s. They have had enough struggles this past year with their health.

I want these headaches to go away. I feel like a completely different person when they are here. I feel like a drag on my family. Chatterbox takes over and can talk me into believing the most horrible things about myself. It’s hard to sleep, even though I am so very tired. It’s hard to be active. It’s hard to believe in myself and my future.

A lot of people, when making a list of things they want like this, devoid of material things, might ask for world peace. I know that’s a lot to ask. So let it begin with me. I would like peace in my family. Inside my house and then spread to the extended family around me. Life has been hard this past year or so with family stress and discord. I just want peace.

Help my MIL and FIL to find a new church. The one that they have belonged to and worked so hard for is closing at the end of this month. I know that they are heartbroken about this. It is sad for me and I am not even a member of that church and only attend on holidays. I cannot imagine what it is like for them, having been a part of the church for 35 years.

Finally, I would really like it if you could slow the progression of my BIL’s Lou Gehrig’s disease. It has been almost a year since his diagnosis, but it has been aggressive, attacking his body with a vengeance. Make life easier for him, my SIL and their children. A 14 year old and 8 year old shouldn’t have to watch this happen to their Dad. It was hard for me to watch my Dad’s health to deteriorate and, at the time, I was 32.

That’s a long enough list, don’t you think? You may need to enlist the help of someone with higher power than you possess. I think He might help. I have talked to Him, too.

Anyway, did I mention how handsome you look?

Merry Christmas!

Shelli