I know I’m late with this. It’s been rough. I actually didn’t know what or how much to say. I wonder often when my life is going to stop being one stressful thing after another. I guess everyone has their own share of stress, but sometimes I just think that I can’t take it anymore.
First, I’ll just start by saying that I didn’t lose last week. I, in fact, gained a pound. I know it’s my fault for not tracking last week. I just was too exhausted and couldn’t focus on anything when I was awake. I know I’m losing by the way my rings and my clothes fit. Hell, yesterday I was able to take my jeans off without even unzipping or unbuttoning them. Still, I know I can’t slide back into the ignoring the tracking and I really need to get on the exercise bandwagon. I know it would help with my stress level, too.
So…in addition to all the things Sam already is dealing with (and consequently we are dealing with), we found out last week that his girlfriend is pregnant. Well, ex-girlfriend. No, he didn’t break up with her when he found out she was pregnant or because she was pregnant. He was planning on breaking up with her and, unfortunately, she told him she was pregnant first. I knew that the break-up was coming, so I know that’s really the truth. Anyway, she’s 17, he just turned 18 yesterday. Neither one of them are ready for, or capable at this point, of taking care of a baby. Regardless of what happens between the two of them, Sam (and we) will be there for that baby. There is no way in hell he would turn his back on his kid. He loves children and would die before he would not be involved with his child. It’s just not a great time. It’s going to be tough. I don’t even know what I want to happen. I just pray that God knows what’s best. She’s very newly pregnant and she has had a miscarriage before, so this pregnancy may not end with a baby being born.
I couldn’t really say anything without first letting all the family know and I am pretty sure that they all do now. I don’t really know what to do or how to feel. I know that if a baby is born, I will love it because it will be my grandchild. I just can’t think that far and I have far too many worries for this unborn child.
I guess all I can do is take care of myself and let it all play out the way it’s supposed to play out. Thoughts and prayers are always welcome.