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February 2013
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The Stuff of Life

Nothing Good Really

I know I’m late with this. It’s been rough. I actually didn’t know what or how much to say. I wonder often when my life is going to stop being one stressful thing after another. I guess everyone has their own share of stress, but sometimes I just think that I can’t take it anymore.

First, I’ll just start by saying that I didn’t lose last week. I, in fact, gained a pound. I know it’s my fault for not tracking last week. I just was too exhausted and couldn’t focus on anything when I was awake. I know I’m losing by the way my rings and my clothes fit. Hell, yesterday I was able to take my jeans off without even unzipping or unbuttoning them. Still, I know I can’t slide back into the ignoring the tracking and I really need to get on the exercise bandwagon. I know it would help with my stress level, too.

So…in addition to all the things Sam already is dealing with (and consequently we are dealing with), we found out last week that his girlfriend is pregnant. Well, ex-girlfriend. No, he didn’t break up with her when he found out she was pregnant or because she was pregnant. He was planning on breaking up with her and, unfortunately, she told him she was pregnant first. I knew that the break-up was coming, so I know that’s really the truth. Anyway, she’s 17, he just turned 18 yesterday. Neither one of them are ready for, or capable at this point, of taking care of a baby. Regardless of what happens between the two of them, Sam (and we) will be there for that baby. There is no way in hell he would turn his back on his kid. He loves children and would die before he would not be involved with his child. It’s just not a great time. It’s going to be tough. I don’t even know what I want to happen. I just pray that God knows what’s best. She’s very newly pregnant and she has had a miscarriage before, so this pregnancy may not end with a baby being born.

I couldn’t really say anything without first letting all the family know and I am pretty sure that they all do now. I don’t really know what to do or how to feel. I know that if a baby is born, I will love it because it will be my grandchild. I just can’t think that far and I have far too many worries for this unborn child.

I guess all I can do is take care of myself and let it all play out the way it’s supposed to play out. Thoughts and prayers are always welcome.

5 Responses to “Nothing Good Really”

  • Poppy :

    I am happy for the good news of a baby joining your family and I wish you the best with the hard stuff.
    Poppy´s last [type] ..whyyyyyyy

  • cathy :

    It’s tough I know. My daughter got pregnant at 18 and I was ready to kill the pair of them. All I could think of at the time was that she was throwing away her chance for education, she’d been accepted at 3 colleges. Nor did I want to be a gramma at 40. But as I look back now, I wouldn’t have traded him for her education even with the autism. It was a rough few years and they had to grow up fast.

    I know the situation is somewhat different in that they’ve broken up but they made a baby together, maybe they could get some counceling to see if there is a way to make it as a couple?

    I won’t tell you not to worry but I know you’ll love the child when it arrives. All the best to you dear, hang in there xo
    cathy´s last [type] ..The long road home

  • Megan :

    It will be what it’s meant to be. You’ll get through this, and I’m always here for you. xoxo
    Megan´s last [type] ..Luminosity

  • Kyra :

    I’m sorry it’s tough right now. We went through that with my brother (she was 18, he was 17 by the time the baby was born) and that path is a hard one. As a Mom with kids entering into the teen years, I’m worried all the time they’ll have something like that happen. Just remember to take care of yourself!
    Kyra´s last [type] ..Shark!

  • oh Shelli! I’m so sorry. You have a so much going on. You’re all in my prayers and I hope this has been a better week.
    Erika Z´s last [type] ..How I avoided my own health sabotage {#aHeartFitFriday}

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Shelli Mallam Miller
Shelli Mallam Miller

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