I struggled with whether to post about this or not. Then Robin posted about it and Cissa posted about it and I thought and thought some more. The particulars in their situations may be a little different, but we’re in the same boat and it ain’t floating too well. I’m talking about the financial situation that so many of us are finding ourselves in lately.
I struggled with posting about it because I was afraid people would judge. You know, “Well why do you have this?” or “Why did you spend your money on that?” But, you know, we do what we think is best at the time. And it’s not like we’re getting public assistance (are you fucking kidding me we make “too much”) and then jetting off to Paris or something. (And, yes, I know someone like that, but I’m not judging. Well, maybe a little.)
I learned from the last several weeks that you don’t die when your satellite goes out and you don’t stop breathing if they shut your cell phones off. (Huge revelations for me, I know.) Those things were kind of liberating for me. We did have to figure out a way to get the cell phones back on for work reasons, but we still didn’t stop breathing when they turned off. It’s funny, when you don’t have satellite and you are down to just 5 or 6 channels, you find more time to do other things like read and go to the gym.
Our financial situation is actually what got us back to the gym–if we work out 12 times per month, we make $40 (our health insurance has a reimbursement program for gym memberships, so it’s not cash in hand, but still). Can’t beat that. Plus, with my high blood pressure, it was either start working out and make $40/month or add another medication at a copay of $13-$26/month. It’s pretty much a no-brainer. I’ve already been to the gym 13 times in the last 14 days. My resting heart rate has dropped about 12-15 beats per minute. (Of course, that’s just random, but it has been going in a downward trend.) I’ll let you know about my blood pressure.
Another reason I worried about posting about this is because I didn’t want to hurt Jason or embarrass him, but, it all comes down to what I am constantly telling him, we are not alone. A lot of people are dealing with similar struggles right now. Jason is certain it’s because of something he did, that he’s some sort of failure. I keep telling him he isn’t. Almost everyone I know is having some sort of struggle right now. It’s a sign of the times.
Jason has been working overtime and he is likely going to take over the job that his Dad was doing before he died (fixing up units for my MIL’s company that helps people who need housing) and he’s also applying for other jobs such as security guard, etc. I don’t want him to have to work more. I want him to be here for us, but it will make him feel better to be doing something. I have said I would get another job, too, but he doesn’t want me to. He thinks it will be too hard on me with my health issues. I have picked up extra shifts now and then and maybe I’ll do some of that, too.
It sucks. It’s frustrating. It’s not fun. Sometimes it’s very bleak and depressing. But here’s the part that makes it easier to swallow. We are not alone. We can help each other make it through this, even if it’s just through emotional support. And we will make it through this. When I was young and single and pregnant with Ashley, I kept telling everyone who would ask me, “What are you going to do?” (yes, in that tone), “It will all work out.” And it will. I just know it.
I’m so sorry to hear this, Shelli. But you know, the only reason we aren’t in a similar situation right now is because we have been there in the past. We learned how to live more frugally and simply, and got ourselves into a better financial position. We still don’t have it all in place (still paying of a van debt and still don’t have an adequate emergency fund in place), but we are in much better shape than we used to be.
I agree…it WILL all work out somehow. Sometimes you don’t know how, but in the end, the ways and opportunities present themselves. Like your satellite story…sometimes “doing without” gains you so much more in other ways that it’s completely beneficial to you in the long run. If you find the upside in the situation, “sacrifices” aren’t sacrifices at all.
Also, you can always email me if you need to vent, need ideas or just need someone to cheer you on.
Thanks for this post, it is good to know we’re aren’t alone. It’s scary at this point there isn’t much more we can give up that we haven’t and we still can’t pay anything. I just keep believing things will turn around. They WILL turn around. Keep your chin up.
I second Robin’s response. Also, it’s comforting, if not in a morbid sense, to know that I’m not the only one struggling. It’s been real hard, but I’m comforted that the Fates haven’t singled me out.
My husband feels exactly as yours does. Scary how the men-folk can be affected so similarly, ain’t it?
*big hugs to you* thank you for sharing this.
From “Shakespeare In Love”:
Philip Henslowe: Mr. Fennyman, allow me to explain about the theatre business. The natural condition is one of insurmountable obstacles on the road to imminent disaster.
Hugh Fennyman: So what do we do?
Philip Henslowe: Nothing. Strangely enough, it all turns out well.
Hugh Fennyman: How?
Philip Henslowe: I don’t know. It’s a mystery.
Hang in there (all of you). Everyone hits this wall once in a while. Do what you can and trust that it will work out. xo
You are NOT alone, and it WILL work out. (And hi! I am always reading, just not commenting, much!)
You are most definitely NOT alone. It is a frightening, uncomfortable place to be, but one in that many good, responsible souls are finding themselves. I’m glad you wrote about it because that should help you feel better. Holding it all in makes you feel even more alone. Good luck, Shelli, and keep your chin up.
Definitely, not alone! I also just outed my new URL. I’ve talked about my financial problems so many times on my blog and in person with friends. It’s hard not to talk about something that causes such stress and sleeplessness sometimes.
I go through hills and valleys and lows and highs on the financial front. And I just keep my eye on the light at the end of the tunnel and keep the faith.
Keep the faith, honey. It will work out! xoxo
Annie–Thank you. When I read your blog, I think, “I don’t have the energy to pull it all together the way that she does.” But, I think if I even did a small amount of what you do, it would help. Of course, I don’t do the shopping or even know our exact situation because Jason does all of that. I can still help somehow, though. I will probably call on you to vent or get ideas or whatever in the near future. Thanks for being a friend.
And, btw, since you commented on the post about my brother on his birthday, he’s been reading your blog.
Robin–Things will turn around. For you, I just know it’s going to be that your photography business will take off. Believe in yourself. You have talent and that eye for things. Plus, when the economy turns around, that will help, too. We just have to hold each other up right now.
Cissa–I think that man thing about bringing home the bacon is ingrained in them at birth.
You’re welcome. I wanted you to know that you aren’t the only one. And, when I talk about it with my co-workers, there are so many of them that are in the same boat. We are all hard-working, good people. We do what’s right and we try our best. Maybe we made some mistakes along the way, but so does everyone and that doesn’t make us bad or wrong or that we should somehow suffer for those mistakes.
We’ll just keep on and be there for each other when we need to vent or whatever. You know my email address.
Finn–I Love You! So much. There’s a reason why we’re soul sisters.
Sybil–Hi! And guess what? I’m reading you and not commenting much. LOL That is too weird. I haven’t ever commented because I feel intimidated. Is that stupid? I’ll comment more.
Thank you for adding your assurances. It helps.
Ugh! I have a few good days here and there when I feel I have it together, but most of the time, I don’t. I struggle all the time with low energy, with migraines, with this ache and that pain, with feeling I don’t have enough hours in a day to do what I need to do, let alone what I want to do, etc. I think you probably identify with all of those.
I think the difference is that I’ve been doing some of these things (frugal things) my whole life (I was raised in frugal family), so they just come second nature to me.
I’m glad your brother’s reading. I know I have a male reader or two, but none of them ever comment.
It’s moments like this that I wish I had Richard Branson-amounts of money to buy my island in the South Pacific on which all us cool bloggers would live.
You want 10 acres and some coconut trees, right?
Until then, we’ll all make it through this. Promise.
We own our own business, so unemployment isn’t really much of an option for us. It’s tight as hell and we will cut every corner we need to – except for Holly’s education. It gets tighter every month, but within the past few days, we’ve gotten a wee uptick in work. It isn’t much, but we are praying that it is a sign of better things to come.
Good luck you and Jason….and Cissa….and Robin…and Soda….and us…. and them…..and the others…..
Annie–I was not raised in a frugal family and neither was my husband. That probably is part of our problem. I do try to clip coupons and those very basic things, but it’s hard to make him use them when he goes. He uses the in-store coupons, but he forgets to take the ones I’ve clipped out. Of course, our problem is much deeper than saving at the grocery store.
CMGD–As long as I have air conditioning. LOL I wish you had Richard Branson money, too. If you ever get some, can you float me a loan?
MM–Yeah, we just gotta hang in there and keep squeaking on through. It still sucks, but we have each other.
I really liked Finn’s comment and can’t do better than that one. It will all work out, it always does, it has to. Nothing stays the same. Ever. And no, you are not alone by a long, very long shot.