The One Where I Dispel All Myths, Fallacies and Outright Lies…

…about me.

The Good

Twice upon a time, I was bestowed awards that were to the effect that I was the “Sweetheart of the Internet”. I looked for them in my archives, but I couldn’t find them to post them here. It doesn’t really matter, I think most of you remember those awards. My point isn’t to prove to you that I won them. My point is to prove to you that they are totally mythological in their intent to name me as the sweetest person on the ‘Net. I am NOT the sweetheart of the Internet. I am NOT a sweetheart at all. Sure, I’m kind. Most of the time. I would help almost anyone (except someone like Osama Bin Laden) if they needed it. But, I can be a real bitch, too. I can hold a grudge better than anyone I know. If you piss me off, you better apologize or it will be a damn long time before I “get over it”. If you own up to whatever you did and apologize, I will reciprocate if necessary and then I will drop it. It may take awhile for the hurt to go away, but if you apologize, I will try to move on and it will take a lot less time than if you hadn’t apologized.

I am easily irritated. People that irritate me easily are people:

• …who are late.
• …who lie.
• …who ask stupid questions just to call attention to themselves.
• …who waste my time.
• …who don’t listen.
• …who act inappropriately.
• …who are intolerant of race, religion, ethnicity, etc..
• …who proclaim themselves as protesters just for the sake of causing a scene and are not really standing up for or against something.
• …who don’t take responsibility for their own actions.
• …who are parents who don’t take responsibility for their children.

I could go on and on with that, but you can see I am easily irritated and can be bitchy.

The Bad

It has been said that I only love one or maybe two of my children. It has been said by more than one person when they were referring to different children. For instance, someone has said that I only love Emily. Others have said that I only love Sam and Emily. Still others have said that I only love Ashley and it has also been said that I only love Ashley and Sam. Whatever the singularity or combination of children that I supposedly love or don’t love, it’s all completely false. I love every one of my children the same, but different. There’s a book called I Love You The Purplest. It’s about how one woman loves each of her children the same amount but in completely unique ways.

• Ashley is beautiful. She’s enormously talented in voice, drama and art. She’s caring and giving and outgoing. She’s intelligent and has the ability to do whatever she would want to do with her life.
• Emily is beautiful. She is incredibly intelligent. She is driven in everything that she does. If she achieves something, she keeps going until she conquers it. She is an incredible athlete. If she wants something, she doesn’t stop until she gets it. She is empathetic and philosophical.
• Sam is beautiful. In a totally young-manly sort of way. He’s incredibly intelligent, too. He has a huge thirst for knowledge and he will keep asking questions or searching for answers until he’s satisfied that he has got them all. He’s very spiritual. He is also very empathetic and hates to see people in pain. He is hysterical and it’s often hard to be mad at him because he is so silly and makes you laugh.

Those are just the few amazing qualities that I could come up with in a minute or two. I love them fiercely and would protect each of them until my own death. Often the things that make people think that I am a bitch are when I have stood up for the rights and desires of my children. I don’t like it when people disregard them, are mean to them, pick on them for their own amusement or are just plain disrespectful to them. For instance, it’s completely okay for me to express my dissatisfaction with Ashley’s behavior or irresponsibility towards Isabelle, but if someone else expresses their disgust about it, they better be careful. Agreeing with me is different, that’s just helping me to vent and offering support. It’s when they attack her verbally either to her face (when I am there) or to me that it really bothers me. (For instance, ID is always trash talking Ashley when he picks up Belle. It drives me crazy, especially when he does it in front of Isabelle. You can see why Isabelle always feels the need to defend her mother.)

So, yeah. I fiercely and passionately love all of my children. Anyone who suggests otherwise is just plain wrong.

The Ugly

I’m terrible at housekeeping.

Oh, wait. That one’s true.