Ashley is sick. I hate when she is sick. I hate it because I know that she doesn’t have any health insurance and that she won’t go to the doctor to get checked out because of that. Several weeks ago, she was here cleaning her room out and she stepped on a piece of broken glass. She really sliced her foot and she needed stitches. She refused to go because she doesn’t have the money and she doesn’t have insurance. So Jason went to the store and got some steri-strips and I “stitched” it back together myself. It healed very nicely, if I do say so myself, but it wasn’t the care that she should have had.
Ashley doesn’t have health insurance because she is one of the working poor that you probably have heard about. (I am not going to make this about the problems with our health care system, we are getting that shoved down our throat enough these days. Maybe another time.) Either health insurance isn’t offered at her place of employment or it is too expensive for her to afford. Isabelle has insurance through us for a little bit longer and then her Dad will carry her on his insurance when it becomes active. That still leaves Ashley without insurance.
Back to Ashley being sick. She must have felt pretty terrible yesterday, because she went to one of those little clinics inside of the Targets and CVS’. The doctor there told her that she had pneumonia and that she should go to a clinic where they could actually do an xray. Of course she wouldn’t, so the doctor gave her a prescription for an antibiotic. She called me thinking that I had a way to get her samples, but we don’t get them anymore at work so I couldn’t. I offered to pay for the medicine if she couldn’t afford it. She called back later and said that she was able to cover it because with getting some cough syrup and some chapstick, it came to under $50.
I started thinking about it and I realized that, with the exception of WIC, Ashley has never had any government aid of any kind. Granted, she lived here mostly rent free and I took care of Isabelle for free for the first 2 1/2 years of her life, but I still think that is pretty impressive. She works hard at her job. She also knows that she needs to go back to school if she is going to have any chance of supporting herself and Isabelle in the long run. I am proud of her for that. I know she still has some issues she needs to work through. Sometimes she could use a social worker just to help her manage the simple things in her life, like getting Belle to preschool when she is supposed to go or making appointments and so on, but she is trying. I have to give her credit for that. I know that it isn’t easy to be a single parent.
It isn’t easy being the parent of a single Mom either. Especially when said single Mom is sick.
yup the health care system here sucks!
I have always had a great deal of respect for single mothers. I hope Ashley gets to feeling better soon.
Single mothers are one thing, but young single mothers, like our daughters, are a whole other issue! We’re still trying to be their mothers while they are trying to be mothers, and I’m sure it has to be hard on them. My daughter gave birth to my grandaughter when she was 19, and the baby has spina bifida, hip dysplasia and club feet. She has been through surgery as a newborn (I’m sure you know the details, Shelli), cranial surgery at 10 months, surgery on her feet and legs 2 weeks ago, and now, she needs surgery to correct an optical nerve that is making one eye cross in. Thankfully, she is mentally sound and right on track physically. My daughter deals with this in a very graceful manner, which is surprising since she is a juvenile diabetic and was always our “selfish” child. This baby has brought purpose to her world, and instead of being bitter, she takes it in stride and is just as proud as any mommy is. Sorry I got long winded, but like Shelli, I always worry about them, even if my daughter is a self-proclaimed adult! Kudos to our girls, and to all single Mom’s out there. You guys have the hardest jobs in the world!
Correction to the above…the baby is right on track developmentally, not physically. She is doing all the age appropriate things except for crawling and trying to walk.
I feel your helplessness,Shel.Son2 has no health insurance right now and we get worried every time there is a sniffle.Hubs says that since Son2 is 21, it’s time for me to stop babying him, but he is like his Dad. Neither will take anything until it has developed into something more than just ‘sniffles’!
I hope Ashley feels better soon.Until then tell her to take steamy showers and see if anyone will bang on her back to keep the phlegm loose….well, I’m sure you know all that!
Hope Ms. Ashley feels better soon.
I don’t think the worrying about your kids thing ever goes away. My mother still offers me money and we have two incomes and very good insurance. Ashley is lucky to have a great Mom to help her when she needs it.
Hope Ashley is feeling better soon.
My daughter and her husband are in the same boat. SIL has health insurance coverage for him through his work. Daughter stays home with GK #2 because daycare would run them $125 per week. Family coverage for their health insurance (to cover GK #2) runs them $325 a pay period, he is paid bi-weekly.
My sister also didn’t have insurance for a while. It makes things very difficult. At least if she goes back to school, she will have student health services, which is probably better than nothing.
As a Mom, you never stop worrying. I know my Mom hasn’t! :d
I hope she feels better soon. Not having insurance is hard but maybe there is a free clinic in town?? Since my near death experience 4 years ago, I preach the importance of going to the doctor when sick. I feel for her, and you too. a Mom always worries!
I hope the doctor gave her a strong antibiotic. It’s so hard to watch the young ones struggle.
Sometimes even with two working parents, when one gets sick, life gets tough…
Mel–It does, doesn’t it? I wish I knew what to do about it.
Fab–Me, too. On both accounts.
Diana–God bless your daughter. Hard enough that she has to tackle raising a child of her own, but then to have the added stress of having a child with special needs, that has got to be tough. Bless her for having the courage and grace.
MM–I forgot about the steamy showers. She was well known to have recurrent croup when she was younger and I am sure it has followed her (in a different form) into adulthood. I heard her coughing today and my chest hurt.
Finn–I think you are right, they never get to old for us to stop worrying about them. I brought her some homemade chicken dumpling soup, some orange juice and some Mucinex. That’s about all I can do.
TrishK–There is something wrong with that, isn’t there? I will have to do a post on this soon. I have personal experience from being a single working Mom myself when Ash was little and now I see her struggling, too. I hate that.
Lynda–I hope she goes back to school. You will have to tell me sometime what your sister did about not having insurance in her circumstance.
Mel–I should check into the free clinic thing. I didn’t think about that. I am going to have to ask around at work tomorrow. I haven’t been to work since she told me she had pneumonia.
Fantastagirl–That’s true. I just worry that she won’t know the warning signs and she has never been one to let me mother her. I would hope she would call me if she was scared or worried about something. I guess I have to let it go a little.
Ugh. I feel sorry for Ashley, but I feel just as sorry for her mama. What a helpless feeling that must be! I’m sure you want to wrap her in a blanket, snuggle her up, and feed her macaroni and cheese. They never stop being our babies, especially when they’re not feeling well. Hugs to both of you.
“I started thinking about it and I realized that, with the exception of WIC,Ashley has never had any government aid of any kind. Granted, she lived here mostly rent free and I took care of Isabelle for free for the first 2 1/2 years of her life, but I still think that is pretty impressive. She works hard at her job. She also knows that she needs to go back to school if she is going to have any chance of supporting herself and Isabelle in the long run. I am proud of her for that. I know she still has some issues she needs to work through. Sometimes she could use a social worker just to help her manage the simple things in her life, like getting Belle to preschool when she is supposed to go or making appointments and so on, but she is trying. I have to give her credit for that. I know that it isn’t easy to be a single parent.”
Hmmm….just goes to show you that as the proverbial “they” say, “the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree”. Sort of a de ja vu story here for me. I remember going through that ummm…about 21+ years ago myself. And of course I still worry about my kids – all of who have nearly given me a heart attack at one time or another. I do think though, that mother’s have a tendency to worry about their daughters a titch more than their sons – at least I did in the formative years, or perhaps because my daughter was my first. Anyways, I am proud of both of you for making the strides in growth you have both made during your lives and especially in the past 6-12 months…must come from good stock :)) Love Ya, Mom
Great post, Shelli: I hate reading about these kinds of cases, because it makes me so wild about how things are for so many people. Luckily people like you care about others … if we all took a little notice of these situations, we’d be better off. Guaranteed, universal health care as a human right would also be good.
Shelli – On behalf of adult children who have wonderful parents, thanks for being there. You don’t have to be, but it certainly makes the going easier.
My parents do so much for my husband and I, and for my brother and sister-in-law. There are no “grandkids” involved, but there have been times I’d have been screwed without some financial help. They’ve bought medication (my husband is bi-polar, so keeping him on meds is my number one worry), paid the rent twice in the last two years, and just bought us a used car.
There is no guilt. Just “we have it, you need it.”