Breaking the Stereotype “Soccer Mom”

Glamorous Redneck, another Minnesota blogger, had this post awhile back, “Minivans are Punk!”. I thought it spoke very well to the fact about how sometimes we are judged too fast by where we live, what we drive, by our children and what they do and so on. I think it is unfair. Don’t get me wrong, her post was very funny and not whiney at all. It just got me thinking about those things.

If you check out Urban Dictionary, here are some of the tag words that are used to define soccer mom:

bitch, SUV, yuppie, soccer, Mom, minivan, housewife, liberal, annoying, cell phone, idiot, kidz bop, milf, whore, arrogant, peta, shallow, slut, soccer moms, suburbia, ass, Christian, cunt, gay, house frau, mother, overprotective, Philadelphia, preppy, punk, republican, soccermom, stupid, ugly, vulgar, worthless, Adidas, Adidas sandals, adolescent, adolescent girls, America, American, animal rights, anime, barefoot, breasts, butt, cars, cartoon network, Catholic high school

I have bolded the extra nice ones. Some of those things are contradictory. If you think that is mean, you should read the actual definitions on UD. Wiki’s definition wasn’t much better. They just phrased it more politely.

Let’s break it down, shall we?:

bitch: Probably, but can’t everyone have a “bitch” moment? (Or day, or week or month or even year?)

SUV: Now wait a minute, I thought they drove minivans.

yuppie: (Young urban professionals or young upwardly-mobile professionals) I think being a Mom and being a “professional” are mutually exclusive, aren’t they?

Soccer: Yeah, I guess this one fits since it is part of the title of the group we are talking about

Mom: This one fits for the same reason as above, although there is the title “soccer dads” being thrown about here and there.

minivan: Well, which is it? Minivans or SUVs?

housewife: I think they prefer to be called “stay at home moms” or “sahms” these days.

liberal: Probably some are. Or maybe they just pretend to be.

annoying: Perhaps

cell phone: Doesn’t just about everyone have a cell phone these days? Or is it that everyone who has a cell phone is a soccer Mom or Dad?

idiot: There are a lot of idiots in the world. Are all the female idiots soccer moms? I did not know this.

Kidz Bop: Is that all that they listen to? No wonder they are annoying and idiotic.

milf: I can only assume that they meant “milk” and that they mean that soccer moms want their kids to drink lots of milk so that they have energy to play soccer.

whore: Well, that’s just plain mean! BUT, is that what they meant by “young urban professional”?

arrogant: It’s just an act, I think. I mean how can any whore be arrogant.

PETA: They are involved with PETA, too? I hate those PETA people. They are all so self-righteous.

shallow: I think this goes right along with being idiots and stupid, so it must be true, right?

slut: So they don’t sell it, they give it away?! Make up your mind.

soccer moms: Um, ye-aah, that’s what we are talking about! Who is the idiot now?

suburbia: You mean they can’t be inner city or country? Only suburban kids are soccer players?

ass: I am not sure what this means. Do they mean that they have big ones or that they are big ones? Probably both.

Christian: I have never gotten a religious tract at a soccer game before. Nor have I ever seen a whore at church.

cunt: Just not nice. Obviously whoever came up with this one, wasn’t raised by a decent Mom of any sort, soccer or otherwise.

gay: How can a woman be gay and be a mother and a whore?

house frau: Is that something dirty? It’s foreign to me.

mother: Um, duh, that’s what we are talking about, right?

overprotective: Oh-oh. That covers a lot of moms.

Philadelphia: Soccer moms only live in Philadelphia?! Who knew? It must be pretty crowded there. If it’s true what they say about being whores, there must be a lot of happy men in Philadelphia.

preppy: Not only are they soccer moms, but their preps, too? Poor women.

punk: So, what is it? Preppy or punky? Or is it both? How does one be preppy and punk at the same time?

Republican: Wait a minute, I thought you said that they were liberal?

soccermom: Whoever submitted this one had a mother who was stupid because they didn’t teach them that this isn’t a word.

stupid: Point made, see above.

ugly: There are a lot of ugly women in the world. Does that mean that they all produced ugly soccer playing girls. God help us all.

vulgar: I don’t think vulgar and preppy go together. It does go with whore, slut and punk, though, so maybe those are the more true descriptions of soccer moms.

worthless: Now that’s just not fair. They drive their kids to soccer games. That’s worth something isn’t it?

Adidas/Adidas sandals: What does this have to do with anything? I don’t get it.

adolescent: They are teen moms? Make sense with the whole whore thing.

adolescent girls: I thought we said that already.

America/American: I read that they are in Australia, too. But how can that be when they all live in Philadelphia?

animal rights: I think that goes with the PETA thing. I hate those people. Always causing riots, they are.

anime: Huh?!

barefoot: I thought they wore Adidas sandals?

breasts: Um, yeah, most women/whores/adolescent girls have breasts.

butt: We covered this under “ass” I think.

cars: Would you make up your minds? Is it SUVs, minivans or cars?!

cartoon network: I don’t get it. Does it go along with anime? Because I don’t get that either.

catholic high school: Here is something that just stuns me. How many of the girls that I went to Catholic school with ended up being whores, sluts and soccer moms? It’s really quite devastating.

I clearly am not a soccer Mom. None of those words describe me except the important one, “Mom”. My kids are better because they play baseball and softball, anyway.