*Sigh*

I am always hot. I have been known to wear shorts and a t-shirt around the house in the middle of winter. I like my house to be a balmy 68 degrees. Year round. My kids are always complaining that it is “too cold in here” in their whiniest voices, in the middle of the summer. I don’t care. Have you heard the saying, “If Mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy”? Trust me. You want me to be happy. Or at least not sweating to death. There are three things that make me really crabby. The biggest one of those three things is being too hot. The only times I don’t get crabby when I am sweating is when I am at the gym, working out or when I am having sex with my husband.

I kinda hope that when I go through menopause, my thermostat reacts the opposite of what most women’s does to the hormones. I hope that I am always cold. I mean, you can always put on more clothes. I think they would frown on it at my job if I tried to work in my bra and underwear because the scrubs that I was wearing were making me too hot. I have a lab jacket that I never use now that I could wear if I ever get cold. I would even buy more lab jackets to coordinate with my different scrub outfits. I just don’t want to be hotter than I am now.

I’m scared. About a week ago, I started getting these “blushes”. They weren’t caused by an embarrassing event and I recognize them from when I was pregnant with my kids, so I know they are hormonal in nature. The “blushing” starts just below my shoulder blades and then travels up my shoulders and neck and then my face gets hot and flushed. Yippy! It’s tolerable and it passes rather quickly, but still.

I have been on menstruation-suppressing hormones for over a year because my migraines were thought to be hormonally related. So I haven’t had a real period in over a yea and so that wouldn’t be an accurate determination of whether this is menopause that thing that we women wish for and dread all at the same time.

It’s not what is happening to me. No way. No how. They are “blushes”, I’m telling you. The first person that mentions the word hot and flashes will be banned permanently from my blog. Oh, okay, I am not mean enough to do that, but I don’t want to hear those words anyway. Can they really be considered that even if they only last about 30 seconds at the most? I am not old. I am not old. I am not old.