Jason took the day off today. We are going to the Minnesota State Fair. I have not been for many years. I am looking forward to it. The Minnesota State Fair is one of the largest and one of the best in the country. There is so much to see, and not just the farm stuff either. There is a ton of food and exhibits and animals and performances and on and on and on. Sam and Emily are going with us, too. I think that the last time we went, Sam was in a stroller. He’s 12, almost 13(!) now!

Must haves at the fair are cotton candy, caramel apple, milk shake in the dairy building and corn-on-the-cob. Very yummy. Of course it is all calorie free because of all the walking that you do.

So I will be at the state fair, see you there? (I totally stole that line from our local news channel.)

I was NOT held hostage for a second time this week. (Remember, the first time was when I was NOT held hostage by Fab when he took over my blog this past weekend.) This time I was NOT held hostage by an armed bank robber that robbed the Wells Fargo Bank across the highway from where I work. As for the title of this post, do robbers really say that anymore? Or is that soooo last year?

From the StarTribune:

The Minneapolis FBI is looking for a man who robbed a bank Tuesday morning in [name of the city where I work]. The lone man approached a teller and presented a note demanding money.

The robber stashed an undisclosed amount of cash into a black drawstring backpack and left the Wells Fargo Bank at [address of the bank]. on foot, Special Agent Paul McCabe said.

Authorities said the suspect is a white man with olive colored skin. He is in his mid 20s and approximately 5 feet 7 inches to 5 feet 8 inches and weighs 165 pounds. The robber was wearing gold-rimmed sunglasses, a black T-shirt with white lettering on the front and a black baseball cap with the “Major League Baseball” logo on the front at the time of the heist, which happened at 10:15 a.m.

The suspect also was wearing a white gauze-type bandage on his left cheek, the FBI said.

The police had most of the businesses in the area on lock down, but not us. They did not even inform us. What would be a better place for someone, who has a bandage on his cheek, to hide out? Might it not have been a good idea for them to tell us to be on the look out for someone who might come in looking like that?

In any case, we found out about it when some of our patients came in kind of freaked out about the whole thing. I mean, our building is right across the street from the bank. Finally our administrative staff called the police and sent around an email about it, but I am sure the threat was over and/or the suspect long gone by then.

I took all the names and/or addresses out in the interest of not getting dooced/fabbed. I know you could probably still research it and figure it all out and stalk me now that I gave you a map of how to find me, but, eh, oh well. Stalk away. Just don’t tell my employers and get me fired.

Sometimes I have insomnia. Damn it and bless it at the same time. This particular time was right after the bridge had collapsed and you had all the coverage that you did or didn’t want 24/7. I am a news junky. Not the Anna Nicole bullshit type of news. Real news. I think I mentioned it before. Anyway, I was having and insomniac night and I was watching that coverage and then just as I fell asleep, the neighbor’s idiotic dog started barking. I couldn’t go back to sleep and so the following is an email exchange with Fab.

Me: I think that I need to go back to sleep. And probably I need to turn this bridge coverage shit off. It’s starting to get to me. Maybe I also need to go into the neighbors yard and rip the head off of their little dachshund, who is barking right underneath my bedroom window. Obnoxious, yippy, little shit.

I am writing, but it isn’t helping. Plus, I am getting a headache. I should probably take some drugs and go to sleep.

Fab: I guess a nap is a good idea, although I would really like to hear about you killing the neighbor’s dog.

Me: So, instead of going right to sleep, I went out the back door. On my way across the yard, I grabbed a big piece of firewood and made my way to the fence looking the little beast in the eyes as I hit the palm of my hand with the wood. “That’s it, Baloo,” I said, in my meanest voice possible. “I have had it with you, you little shit. I am trying to sleep and you are out here yip, yip, yapping all morning. What the fuck is the matter with you? And what the fuck is the matter with your owners that they don’t bring you in the house when you act like that? Why do they even keep you around, you little burnt hot dog?”

As I got to the fence his barking got more urgent and persistent. He started to turn and run so I climbed our fence and was in their yard in a couple seconds. I called him softly and showed him the treat from our dog’s treat bucket that I had brought along with me in case I needed to lure him. He stopped barking. I bent down, putting the wood behind my back and extending my hand with the treat so he would come closer. Just a couple more steps and he would be close enough. Closer. Closer. I grabbed his color, holding him out in front of me, I swung the wood hard. I hit him first in the chest and then I threw him in the air and on his way back down, I batted him into the side of their garage. He lay there quietly but, just in case, I went over and brought the wood down on his head a few more times to be sure he would never be the cause of my losing sleep again. I jumped the fence back into our yard and threw the piece of firewood in the fire pit on my way back into the house. I would burn it later.

How’s that?

I went back to sleep and slept until 11. Now I am going to finish helping Jason clean up around here and then perhaps watch more of The Sopranos. Do you think it [The Sopranos] is somehow affecting me?

See, I can have an evil streak, too.

“So, Shelli, what’s the scoop? Where were you really for 3 days?”

Thursday night I had a very bad migraine. One of the worst, if not thee worst. I even called my Mom and asked her to sing me a lullaby. I needed some mothering. Isabelle was here and I slept through most of the time she was here. I texted Fab and asked him if he would post for me. Yes, it was that bad. On Friday I felt better, but we were supposed to leave for our annual Apple River trip as soon as I got home from work. I hadn’t been able to pack or prepare at all because of my migraine, so I was just going to leave the blog alone and hope that people wouldn’t freak. Fab offered to keep pinch hitting for me. And so it was. I had a teeny bit of Internet access at the campground, but it wasn’t much. It flickered on and off. So, I was able to answer and email here and there and that was about it.

Like I said, it was our Apple River trip weekend. This is something that we (Jason and his siblings, their spouses and extended family and friends) have done since we all got married. It is something that we have said that we will do until we are 80. Somehow, when someone has a serious illness, these things take on more meaning. It was a fun weekend. I think we all laughed a lot, drank a lot and just really enjoyed ourselves. I would like to share these pictures with you.

For those of you who don’t know or those that don’t remember, last year we got a flat tire on the trailer on our way home. Guess what happened this year on our way home. We got another flat tire on the trailer. This time it was the other one. Yeah. It was really fun. If you want to know what that looks like, you can look at the link I just gave you for last years flat. It’s pretty much the same. I personally think that it is something about the lift bridge that we cross over the St. Croix River between Stillwater, Minnesota and BFE, Wisconsin. I am going to go out on a limb here and say it is all the fault of the Wisconsinites. That’s my story and I am sticking to it.

I was tagged for this meme by Tiffany of My Muddled Mind. Thank you, Tiffany. Sorry it took me so long to get to it.

The Rules: “Each person posts the rules before their list, then they list 8 things about themselves. At the end of the post, that person tags and links to 8 other people and then visits those peoples’ sites and comments letting them know that they have been tagged, and to come read the post, so they know what they have to do.”

1. Often I have an easier time talking to men than women.

2. My kids and I used to have times when we would stop everything and turn on the stereo or a CD and just dance.

3. I rarely ever cook a meal.

4. Most of the time, I feel very close to my brothers.

5. I have 2 of the best office mates in the world. I am very fortunate.

6. I have part of the Little House on the Prairie on DVD. I like to watch it every now and then. I still cry sometimes.

7. I also have Gone With the Wind on DVD. I like to watch that every now and then, too.

8. I love just being alone with my husband. Even if we are doing nothing but sitting there with our own thoughts. I like being quiet with him. That was my favorite thing about being in Jamaica by ourselves at the end of our vacation.

And I am going to tag…

No one. Sorry, Tiffany. I just can’t do it. If anyone wants it, tell me and I will put your name and link here.