Disturbing, Disgusting and Dumb

***Update: When I posted this, I wasn’t thinking about what a downer these stories were. They suck. They are depressing. I decided to take them down because it is no way to leave things for the weekend. If you want to see them, you can look here. Don’t feel like you have to and consider yourself warned. They are depressing.

I am going to be gone for a few days. I am going to a place where I am not sure if they have ever even heard of the internet. Yes, that’s right, Wisconsin. There is a reason they call them cheese heads. ;)I will have posts that will publish during my absence and I will be able to get your emails/comments via my cell phone, but it is too difficult to respond to them that way. Rest assured, I will reply when I get back on Sunday afternoon.

Everyone have a wonderful weekend. With any luck, I will be drunk, floating down the river on an oversized innertube or sleeping peacefully in my camper. I hope it isn’t too hot (did I ever tell you that I don’t like to be hot and sweaty? ;)) or that the river isn’t so shallow (which it could be since we have been experiencing a drought in this area of the country) that my butt keeps hitting rock after rock. We (a group of friends and family members) do this every year and have developed certain alerts that we give each other. For instance, “butt up” means there is a big, not so deep, rock that will take your ass off if you don’t lift yourself up above your tube. And, “trees, trees, trees,” or “paddle, paddle, paddle,” means we are coming to the side and we need to quickly divert ourselve from being stuck in the weeds/trees. The final ones kind of go with the last one and they are, “Watch your head,” or “Duck!!!” Which means you are about to get your eyes poked out with a tree branch. Sound like loads of fun? It usually is a great deal of fun. I promise to bathe in sunscreen before I go out in the sun. And I promise to wear a hat. If you guys are lucky, I might actually take some pictures this weekend and post them here. Wait, maybe you would be lucky if I didn’t post them. Hmmmm…I will have to think about that one.