Once upon a time, not too long ago, there was a girl–a woman, really–who was really unhappy. I mean, she was really, really unhappy. She had no reason to be. She had three beautiful, healthy children and one beautiful, healthy grandchild. She had a husband who loved her. Very much. She had a roof over her head, clothes on her back and food on her table. She had a job. A really sweet job with the best work schedule that a person could ask for. Still, she was so unhappy.

She was taking medicine and had tried therapy and still she was sad. She was sadder because she had no reason to be sad and because there were other people who, she felt, had more rites to sadness than she did. She felt guilt and sadness that her depression so deeply affected those around her and made them feel helpless and sad themselves. She felt like happiness was something that could never be achieved for her in her lifetime. She was destined to live out the rest of her life in complete darkness and hopelessness.

However, she had friends and she had family. They made her try. Just try. Try therapy. Try getting more help. Try other medications. Try to not give up hope. Try to believe that they loved her. Try to believe that there was light and happiness outside of the darkness that she lived in.

And. She did. She went to therapy. She started seeing both a counselor and a psychiatrist. One for talking to the other for getting her drugs.

Sure enough, things began to change. It began to get lighter in her dark world. She started to believe in the love of her family and friends. She started to have hope. Most of all, she started to believe in herself. She stopped listening to the negative voice inside of her. She slowly became happy. Sure, there were sad times and small setbacks but, overall, she was happier. Life was good.

And life continues to be good. Yes, I’ve had some sad things in my life, and I feel appropriate sadness when those things come up, but I can truly say that I am happy. I have been in this anti-depressive state for nearly two years and I can barely believe it’s been that long. And–I am so happy that it has been.

It was Vikings’ Spirit day at school on Friday. She even got her face painted. She was so excited to show me when she got home from school.

Earlier in the day, while I was making breakfast, my goofy cat, Liberty, climbed up into the kitchen cabinet. She must have wanted to be closer to the Vikings’ cups and can coolers in the cupboard.

Go Vikings!

We went to the Vikings vs. Cowboys game on Sunday. It was, of course, awesome! However, there were some things that annoyed me.

• The people who bring babies to the game and need to change their diapers every 25 minutes. If they need frequent diaper changes, they don’t belong there.




• The same people who brought babies and put ear plugs in their ears. If they are too young to have their ears damaged by the noise in the dome, they don’t belong there.




• People who call themselves true Vikings’ fans, and pay big bucks for play off tickets, but, for some reason, they can’t afford to buy a current jersey. If you were a true fan, you wouldn’t be wearing a Fran Tarkenton jersey. You’d at least fork over the $15 at Target for a current player jersey. Or wear a Vikings’ sweatshirt or something. True fan–pffft!




• People who can’t stay in their seats for more than 5 minutes. They’re up to get a drink. They’re up to get something to eat. They’re up to get another drink. They’re up to go to the bathroom. They’re up to get another drink. They’re up to get something else to eat. They’re up to get another drink. They’re up to go to the bathroom. You get the point. Sit the eff down and watch the game. And stop getting in my way. Why the eff did you buy expensive tickets to a game that you were only see 10 minutes of? And those 10 minutes, you were so drunk, you will never remember the game. What a waste. Plus, you were annoying me.




• Speaking of drunk assholes, the drunk asshole who fell all the way down the stairs and then blamed the innocent guys behind us for tripping him. Um, no, asshole, you were so drunk you couldn’t even stay on your feet. As confirmed by your roommate who drunkenly told the people in front of us all about what a drunk idiot you were.




• People who bring their children to the game. They don’t even have any interest. Leave them at home. Bring them a souvenir. It will cost you a lot less and save seats for true fans who really wanted to be there but couldn’t get tickets because you brought your little brats. I’m talking about those who brought teens and tweens, too. They don’t appreciate it enough. Leave them at home.
• Dallas fans. They don’t belong here. ‘Nuff said.

What I absolutely loved about the game (in no particular order):

• Brett Favre




• Bernard Berrian




• Bryant McKinnie




• Visanthe Shiancoe




• Sidney Rice




• Adrian Peterson




• Ray Edwards




• Pat Williams




• Kevin Williams




• Jared Allen




• Chad Greenway




• Ben Leber




• Jasper Brinkley




• Antoine Winfield




• Cedric Griffin




• Madieu Williams




• Ryan Longwell




• Chris Kluwe




• Percy Harvin




• Jim Kleinsasser




• Chester Taylor




• Benny Sapp



And of course…

• the final score, 34-3!

I’ve spent so much time telling you to shut up, I’m not sure I know how to listen to you anymore. You never have anything good to say, anyway. You are often the source of my depression. You are the reason for those times when my self-esteem takes a dive. You are the cause of all my worries. When I am weak, you rise up to kick me while I’m down. When I am strong, you try to take me down a few pegs. You are the source of almost all of the negativity I ever feel and often cause me great anxiety.

You tell me things like, “you are stupid,” and “you are fat,” and “you are a terrible wife and mother.” You add more and more helpings of worry onto any worry or concern that I might have, be it about my children or my health or my husband. You are incessant. You are persistent. You never stop. Which is why I have learned/am learning to tune you out. Almost nothing good ever comes from listening to you.

There are only a few things that I have ever heard from you that have slightly lifted me up. (It is so much easier to listen to and believe the negative than it is to believe in the positive.) They are that I am a good nurse, that I am good with kids and the elderly and that I am a good writer.

I need to learn to listen to the part of you that is good and right and positive and subdue the part of you that is mean and spiteful and negative. It’s a work in progress.

This is part of a writing challenge at {W}rite-Of-Passage, a community of bloggers who are looking to get back to the writing part of blogging. To join, click the link.

Vacation is what you take when you can’t take what you’ve been taking any longer. ~Lion from Wizard of Oz

Can’t you just hear him saying that? It makes me smile.

We are going to take a little vacation. And I mean little. This Saturday, January 16th, would have marked the 44th wedding anniversary of my MIL and FIL. So, Saturday, we are going to stay at The Depot with Jason’s whole family. We did it before, I think on their 40th anniversary. It’s an old train depot that they turned into an ice rink, water park and two hotels. We’ll stay overnight there on Saturday night and enjoy some ice-skating (or rather, watch the kids skate so we don’t kill ourselves) and probably go to the water park. Saturday night we’ll have dinner at The Old Spaghetti Factory, which we did last time, too. The kids really enjoyed themselves, both at dinner and at the hotel/rink/water park. Hopefully it will provide distraction and it’s supposed to be a New Year’s Eve re-do since Laurel and Jerry were in the ICU on NYE instead of spending it with their grandchildren like they usually did. It was something that Jerry was very upset about. He would be VERY happy that we are doing this for/with her.

Then, on Sunday, Jason and I will attend the Vikings’ first playoff game in The Metrodome, courtesy of the wonderful physician that I work for. He gave us first round playoff tickets for Christmas. He’s so awesome. Hopefully, after the game, we will return home overjoyed by the fact that the Vikings have kicked some Cowboy a$$! (Still can’t swear in front of the church up there. )

I’m hoping that fun will be had by all and only a few tears, if any, will be shed. I’m talking about the time spent at The Depot. I’m hoping that NO tears will be shed at the Vikings’ game. Unless they are happy tears.